Last week I found myself strolling down King St. looking for some light at the end of a tunnel. The Jays had been dropping like a rock through the American League standings and I needed answers. I was tired of all the crap in the media about potential trades and plans to strip the team of its stars. I wanted to hear from a fresh voice, someone untainted by the clichés and generalities being thrown around the team's media scrums. I figured "what the hell, if she's got the ability to predict the future too, that certainly can't hurt" so I got on the phone and called up a psychic.

Now, some people believe in the ability to see the future, and some people don't. Personally I don't care which camp you fall into, I'm a sportswriter, I'm just a guy looking to entertain and hopefully provide a little optimism here, so let's all just chill out and have a little fun with this.

When you sit down with a psychic the first thing you will need is a personal item relating to the person or persons you're inquiring about. Since I needed to know about the Blue Jays (and about baseball in general), I was able to pull this off using autographed Roy Halladay and Vernon Wells rookie cards that had been kicking around my possession for a while.

Once you and the psychic both have your energies focused on these items, the next step is to make a few wishes toward the betterment of the subjects. After that you are free to let rip with the question period. So, without further ado, here are the results of my interview with Toronto's own Psychic Georgia:

(Note: my questions are in bold, her answers are in plain text, my afterthoughts are in italics.)

Now that the All-Star break is over and the games become more meaningful, how well do you see the Blue Jays doing over rest of the season?

I feel they're going to do very well, but I see one player is going to be interfered with by a woman. Somebody's career is going to be interfered with by a lover, a woman, and that is going to affect the whole team.* Awesome, we're just getting started and things are already getting juicy. Ideally I'd like to start an office pool to see which player it's going to be.


Is Scott Boras pure evil, or does he just want us to think that?

I feel in his past he didn't have very much in his life. This is why in this life, in this time, he's very greedy. I see he wants everything for himself. If he sees somebody on the street who has more money, or is higher up than him, he gets jealous. But I see an ending either towards his career or towards himself; I see it within about six years. I was a little worried she just predicted Scott Boras will die in 6 years. I didn't really want to be the guy eliciting that prediction, he's the last guy I need haunting me from beyond the grave.


You mean his career will end in six years?

I feel he'll either change in direction, some type of ending in career... his mind will be on to something else. I see it within about six years.


Are Alex Rodriguez and Madonna really soulmates?

I feel Madonna has some type of control over his mind. She's a very strong-minded woman, and at times she can be manipulative. But I feel most definitely, she does have a strong hold on his mind. I see they should have never come together. Not now, not ever. Yankee fans would probably agree with this. His ex-wife would also probably agree with this. (That question had been eating away at me since last season.)


How many more MLB players will get suspended for steroids by the end of 2009, and are they too dumb to take HGH instead and avoid the risk of getting caught?

Alright, I forgot to ask this one ­– I have no idea how, it was sitting on the paper right in front of me. I'll ask her next time, I promise.


Will Travis Snyder reemerge as a Blue Jay this season, and was sending him down a good move to keep his attitude in check?

I feel he's going to mess his chance up again, but I do see him coming back. I feel something to do with the number four; 4 days, 4 weeks, or 4 months. But he's going to ruin his opportunity, he's going to take this for granted. He doesn't realize how big this opportunity is, and he's not playing his cards right. Ouch. I've got nothing witty to write here.


Will Dustin McGowan ever reemerge as a Blue Jay?

I feel he's going to leave for good, I see within 8 days, 8 weeks, or 8 months. It's going to be finalized that he's going to leave, possibly to a different province, but I see something to do with 8 and him leaving. Ouch again. Although the provincial angle is interesting, maybe he'll end up with Scott Richmond's old job in Edmonton?


What is Cecil Fielder's current pant size?

I forgot to ask this question too. F---.


Do you see Toronto's next big acquisition having a successful stint with the Jays?

Yes, I see someone good who's going to come toward the team; it could be in 10 days, 10 weeks, or 10 months. He's going to have a lot of people that are going to help him come together with his role. But whoever these people are, they will want things from him. This man is young; maybe he's not too bright, maybe he doesn't realize what they're going to take from him. But it seems that someone is going to benefit from his fortune, from his fate. But I see he's going to do well, everything's going to go well for him. This sounds like good news, except for the part about him being dumb. Being dumb is rarely an asset.


Does the mystical Japanese pitch, the "Gyro-ball," actually exist?

I feel yes it does exist, but there are certain strengths needed in order to use it. Maybe the secret is towards meditating, maybe they have a certain way, a certain ritual that they perform when using it, I don't know. It shows that whatever this is, it is strong, it has strength. Her tarot cards seem to know more about pitching than most scouts.


Will Tom Cheek ever get inducted in to the Hall of Fame?

Whatever it is I see him being inducted into, I see him being recognized as a star. I see it very well. I see within one year, it could be the end of this year, something good. I'm not exactly sure if it's hall of fame, but I see something big, I see something where he'll be known. She was referring to him being recognized in the states, I let her know he was already big-time in Canada.


Will Steve Nash be a Toronto Raptor after his current contract expires? Sorry, that's basketball. You don't have to answer that. Also, is Bargnani going to emerge as the team's best player?

Nash: It seems like he's going to be receiving justice this year, and if he's been wanting to go towards the Raptors this year he's going to receive that. Whatever it is that he's been wanting and wishing for, he's going to receive it. He's going to receive justice on a lot of things to do with his career. (Note: Nash has since agreed to a 2-year, $22 million extension to stay in Phoenix... damn)

Bargnani: I feel he'll do very well as the team's leader, as the team's best player. But the thing is, he has to be able to take on this role. I see he has to be more confident, more positive within himself, and it seems like he has to man-up, he has to show what he can do. Solid advice. Seems like every player on the roster needs to "man-up" (except Reggie Evans, that guy's a beast).

~

Psychic Georgia works out of her home on King St. West in Toronto.** She's also a healer, so if anyone in the Jays organization is reading this, you may want to bring her in to work on your pitching staff. Her prices are low and she also does house parties, so give her a call and have some fun: 647-340-3133.

*I should point out that she continually looked over at the Halladay and Wells cards while telling me this, which didn't happen for any other questions. Could the identity of this mystery woman be Brandy Halladay or Mrs. Wells? Only time will tell.

**She's right beside the McDonald's at King & Dufferin (you could probably score some free parking from Ronald if you play your cards right).